I am a Master of the Arts!

I just finished my last final today!

I am now on my way home to spend Mother's Day weekend with the family and for a much-needed vacation. See you next week, D.C.!

Ode to the Thesis

A significant portion of the last year of my life has been poured into the research for, and the writing of a 72-page thesis entitled, "When Brazilians Brave Britain." Now it's all over. Yesterday, yes, only yesterday, I added a few final touches (and by a few I mean I pulled ideas out of nowhere for an additional five pages) and submitted it to the Graduate School.

Now I'm awash with different emotions. I, of course, feel relief, something so unlike stress I don't even know what to do with it. But I also feel a bit sad, how an empty-nester might feel watching his own "flesh-and-blood" go off into the big world where he has absolutely no more control over it. What's written there is permanent, set in stone--flaws, gaps in logic, ever-so-brief moments of brilliance, etc. Sadly, it'll probably sit in the basement of the library here at Georgetown and never again see the light of day...but I think (gasp!) I actually might miss the work. When I printed it out yesterday and the actual weight of it was in my hands for a moment I was downright giddy. I do not miss the deadlines, but the work for the actual thesis was rewarding, stimulating, eye-opening.

So, here is a digital toast to my thesis. May the ol' girl rest in peace!

Edit: If the thesis could have been illustrated, this picture would have been perfect!

Sharing Breakfast

Yesterday morning as I was eating raisin bran in the dining room of my third-floor apartment, I glanced to my left to discover a large hawk in a tree branch just outside the window. It had a squirrel carcass in its talons and was ripping fur from it, no doubt to prepare it for eating. Yum!

Did it gross me out? On the contrary, it made my day. It was nice to share breakfast with a hawk.

My New Era Moment

I have had precious few "Mormon moments" in literature classes. While my professors sometimes assign risque literature, I always seem to get through the book by skimming and skipping scenes or pages. After all, it's my mind, right? I should be able to decide what becomes a part of my long-term memory.

As an undergrad, I even used said method to get through Lady Chatterley's Lover. What a quick read! All I know is that there was this game warden who was friends with this woman married to a paralyzed man and some interesting contasts between pastoral countryside and industrialized coal mines.

Anyway, one of my professors assigned The Black Album by Hanif Kureishi last week and after skipping the third sex scene I decided that it just wasn't worth it. To all within the sound of my digital voice, if you want to protect your innocence you shouldn't read this book. But because of my sense of duty (no doubt garnered in middle school), I decided to go to class anyway even though I'd only read about a third of the assigned reading.

Here's what happened immediately after class began:

Prof: Alright, so how many of you loved this book?
(90% of the class raise their hands)
Prof: Okay, how many hated this book?
(I alone raise my hand)

First of all, I was surprised. I didn't think the book (what little I'd read of it) was written very well. The protagonist was as weak-willed and static as Harry Potter (and you all know it!). Nevertheless, all eyes suddenly turned on me and my mind flashbacked to New Era articles I'd read about setting a good example and speaking out about your beliefs. Sure enough, here's what happened:

Prof: Adam, why didn't you like the book?
Me: Well, as the cover says (pointing to the cover because I couldn't really reference anything in the book), it's about "drugs, sex, and rock-n-roll." I like rock-n-roll, but the other two.... (I trailed off before I started explaining that I'd only had experienced rock-n-roll anyway.)
Prof: So, it offended your sensibilities?
Me: Um, yeah.

That was it. My sensibilities had been offended. Not exactly a New Era story but I felt like in the battlefield of life a moral victory had somehow been won...maybe.

But then guess what happened! A classmate sitting across from me also began expressing how it had offended her sensibilities too. Later on the bus ride home I sat next to her and she asked if I were religious. I told her I belong to the Church of Jesus-Christ of Latter-day Saints. We then started talking about skiing in the Rocky Mountains. I don't know what will come of this--probably nothing--but it was nice, I must say, to have this little moment.

Things That Go Bump In the Night, and Early in the Morning When I'm Trying to Sleep

Okay, so I think my apartment building is haunted.

First, there's the baby ghost, who cries any time day or night, just below us. I did see a woman from our building pushing a baby stroller this morning, but it was empty! Creepy, no?

Then there's the ex-rocker ghost one floor down and across from us. He plays his phantasmal drums at 8 a.m., making my morning reading of the book of Revelations even more rhythmic. Other times, he prefers the guitar.

And finally, there're the small shades of deceased squirrels living in our wall in the dining room. The scratching is incessant from noon until 4 p.m. This is a sound clip of my studying: type, type, type, scratch, scratch, type, type, scratch, scratch, scritch-scratch, whimper.

Either we're haunted or we have some very loud and interesting neighbors...and a rodent infestation.

Summer Blues

Last Friday was the first day of Spring but I'm already dreading summer. What is it that gets me down (besides my fear of sunburns and sweating while standing still)? The absence of school.

When I was a kid I thought winter break should last three months and that we could continue going to school in the summer. Many a frigid winter morning when I was a kid I would stand in knee-deep Utah snow waiting for the bus and wish I were at home hibernating like the rest of God's creatures. I still love the cold, the snow, and believe that keeping kids off the roads in the winter just makes more sense, but I'm probably in the minority there.

Yes, even today I wish for summer-school. When summer comes it means I have to get a job in retail, let my mind go stagnant, and spend my time wishing I could be in a classroom somewhere. Let's face it, if I'm not hiking or eating icecream I'm dissatisfied with the whole summer experience.

Even more troubling is the fact that once this school semester ends, I will have a 15-month hiatus from school before I can start a Ph.D. program. So I've started weighing my options and I've decided to let friends and family vote on my future. I'll probably make the decision on my own anyway, but this at least will have the trappings of a democracy. Please select one of the following, with an explanation of your choice:

1) Teaching English abroadI've thought about ditching the USA for a year to teach English in Brazil, Mozambique, Angola, Cape Verde, or some other Portuguese-speaking country. (East Timor anyone?!) Not only can you pick this option, but you can weigh in on which country I should go to. I think I might even consider a country whose language I do not know. I loved living in Brazil for two years, love foreign cultures, teaching and learning languages, etc. etc. The down-side is that I've heard it's a very difficult and long process (3-6 months) to get a work visa and usually you need a sponsor employer before going. I could go to Brazil on a tourist visa (renewed every three months) but I don't think it's exactly legal, so due to my moral leanings that's out. I also worry about getting shot, mugged, or abducted but that could happen anywhere, right?

2) Tutoring full-time

I could stay in D.C. (I think I have an apartment lined up in Parkside if I want it) and try my hand at tutoring elementary and high school students. The plus-side is that people are willing to pay exorbitant rates for tutors and I already have a friend involved in it and he said he could find me some work. Moreover, I would still be relatively near my family and I still be in DC 2nd. I also love the idea of the tutor-student system, which is almost totally absent from our public education system. The down-side is that I have little experience, so I can't charge $100/hour, meaning I need to work more hours and I need to buy a car. I'd also be trying to start in the summer, when kids are on break (see my above grumblings) so work would be slow when I need it most. Plus, I won't be living in Brazil.

3) Teaching at a community college

I've already applied to teach at Montgomery Community College in Maryland and I can also apply to Prince George CC. Both are Metro-accessible so I wouldn't need to buy a car or move any farther than next-door to where I live now. Teaching would look great on my resume and it would be the closest thing to what my future career will look like, but for some reason, this option seems the least appealing to me. Maybe it's the thought of standing in front of forty students day after day, week after week knowing that if I assign a five-page paper it amounts to hundreds of pages of student-writing to read at home. *cringe*

My "Social Experiment"

I used to think that being social came naturally to some people. You know, the kind of person who has something to do every night of every weekend for as long he/she can remember. I'm trying a little 'social experiment' of my own which I think will turn into a permanent change in lifestyle. Every night that I don't dedicate to studying (and by nightfall I'm usually ready to call it a day) or class, I make at least one concerted effort to hang out with at least one other person. I recently broke up with my girlfriend, and I knew I needed to find something to fill the sudden vacuum that had appeared in my life. In fact, I had so much spare time that I just couldn't healthily fill it with down-time alone. In the words of Bill Cosby, "I'm no good on my own!"

It's a new and uncomfortable way of life and this post is for people who wonder if they can make a similar transition.

First off, it's hard! I'm beginning to suspect that it's hard for everyone and that my natural inclination is quite normal. Sometimes I just want to retreat into my shell, stay in my room, read a good book, be a little self-absorbed. I think that eventually I will need to find a balance between social life and me-time, but I think me-time has won out far too often in my life, so I'm trying this alternative for a while.

Organizing a party or calling up some friends is nerve-wracking and time-consuming. I'm plagued with a thousand little doubts about the quantity and variety of food I should make, if any; the number of people who will actually show up, if any; overshoot and invite the whole ward + grad school program or be more selective (or is that rude?); invite people in person, which I find exhausting and/or implausible, or by some electronic medium? Don't get me wrong, I love people and enjoy company and lots of it, but being proactive in this department challenges me.

Secondly, there have been days where I have felt like I need time to myself. So far, I've been ignoring that impulse usually to discover that I was shying away from the responsibility, not the time spent with friends. Just keeping at it I've discovered that people reciprocate, after a while. I've just had to remember this: people aren't used to this, my being interested in their time and lives, and they need time to get used to this change.

Thirdly, I've found that this new lifestyle, as challenging as it is, is worth every effort. In the past month I have had so many fun times with so many new people that I continue to be astounded at the sheer number of great people that live in this world, former strangers, former names and/or faces.

Gradually, my set of challenges is starting to change. Instead of wondering what I'm going to be doing on weekends, I've started to juggle my options. Now I'm having to deal with making sure I remember to invite everyone who might be interested or they'll call me out on not receiving an invitation. Now I start to crave a variety to social situations (because, honestly, how often can one guy play Settlers of Catan?!). That's not to say that this has become easy. I think I'm still a fairly private person and I'll often take the easy way out in social situations, but I'm progressing and getting closer to the kind of guy I've always wanted to be. Let me just say this in conclusion, it's hard but so totally worth it. If you need practice, just call me and we'll hang out.

My Oral Exam

Last Wednesday I underwent a rite of passage called orals, which is mandatory in order to graduate from the English M.A. program at Georgetown (though the thesis itself is not actually required). My chosen topic was Late 19th-century Anglo-Brazilian Relations in Literature. That's a long title but I'll try to condense the main idea.

Britain decided that after Brazil became independent in 1822 it needed the equivalent of a mother country to replace Portugal. For about 75 years, Brazil was part of what certain members of English Parliament were calling "Greater Britain." Basically, Britain reserved the right to tell Brazil how to run its government and how to conduct itself as a people. Despite religious, linguistic, and cultural differences (not to mention something called the Atlantic Ocean), Britain became Brazil's "best friend" which Brazil paid for in favors and treaties. Britain dominated Brazil economically but also attempted to impose their moral ideologies by enforcing an abolition of the slave trade. Brazil began to resent long years of unequal international relations while Britain struggled to understand why Brazil was not more cooperative.

In their literature, Brazilian writers often cast Europeans as their villains, usually French or English, but almost never Portuguese. (Americans have often cast their own "mother country" as the villains, a la English accents in Star Wars.) In Brazilian literature, Englishmen are drinkers, subtly aggressive, more interested in trade and inventions than women or friends, and deeply irreligious. English writers describe Brazil as a beautiful and rich landscape almost bereft of people. When English literature depicts Brazilians they are lazy, superstitious, unintelligent, and ignorant or poor, black slaves. One English traveler said that Brazil is a large untended garden overgrown with weeds in need of a more nurturing and careful caretaker.

It makes me wonder how history will represent the dominant powers of our modern world. Are large, powerful nations justified in imposing their ideology? Should they do it all over the world wherever a nation or organization hurts innocents or only against nations that are perceived as a threat to their own people? It makes me wonder why the United States attacks some nations, then leaves others alone that perform the same crimes against humanity or that pose a similar threat. What is the reason and rationale for our biases? What is the rubric for our "most wanted list"?

For my orals I presented my findings for 20 minutes; then my two advisors (Prof. Schwarz from the English department and Prof. Vieira from the Portuguese department) asked questions and bounced ideas off me. I think my presentation was dribble for the first 5 minutes but after the butterflies settled down it went more smoothly. I must say I am really glad that Prof. Vieira was there. Instead of asking questions, she contributed to the arguments I was making and made them that much stronger. After an hour and a half of this they sent me out in the hall so they could deliberate about whether or not I passed....

It's a strange and scary five minutes sitting in the hall waiting to see if what you've been studying for the past 6 months means anything, if it makes any sense. I ran into a friend a month or two ago who looked positively ill while he waited and didn't even notice me until I said hi. Thankfully, when the door opened Profs. Schwarz and Vieira were smiling and immediately congratulated me on passing. I can't tell you how nice it is to have orals out of the way.

The joys of food poisoning...

Last Sunday was the first Sunday of the month, so I was fasting until dinner. That evening, my roommates and Claire's roommates collaborated on a wonderful dinner including chicken, biscuits, salad, fried carrots, brownies, etc. etc. I started feeling tired that evening and went home early, then straight to bed. I woke up at 2:30 a.m. barfing into the toilet not at all sure how I got to the bathroom. I know I'm terrible about posting pictures, but I think in this case, it's a good thing.

I spent the next day in bed eating nothing and drinking plenty of water. On the plus side, with my faculties intact, I got a lot of studying done but didn't have any fun doing it.

The next day I had class, so I got out of bed, and went to school. Literally three different people commented that I had either lost weight or just sat staring into space. I still don't feel totally well and I'm trying to go easy on my stomach, but hopefully in a couple of days things will return to normal.

In other news my orals exam was postponed a week, so it's now two weeks from yesterday. Yikes! I'd better get studying!

Inauguration Day 2009

So, I'm in my pajamas watching the inaugural festivities on television when I should actually be studying. I have an in-class presentation tomorrow but I feel strikingly unmotivated. It's hard to do any studying when half of D.C. is on holiday and the other half is treating their workday like an inaugural party. For example, last night my roommates and several other people I know spent the night sleeping in an office building. (I spent it in a sleeping bag on my bed because our heat doesn't work properly and I need more real blankets.)

Although I don't totally support Obama (sorry Amber), I don't not support him either (sorry Dad, Mom, and Jeremy). It'll just be very, very interesting to see what the next four years will bring. The most distressing thing I've heard is that he plans to almost immediately pass the FOCA. Plus, big federal government is also not the direction I want things to be heading. (But Bush and Cheney sort of went that direction too.) It seems like the more executive power you give one man, the more liable we are to experience corruption in government. Checks and balances, slower but less Caesar-prone. I can say that the most exciting thing is how many people support him and are talking about working with him. Individuals, average people are talking about how they can do their part in making the country better and that's exciting to me. Whatever happens, it's cool to live in the city where everything is taking place.

Oh, I have played more Settlers of Catan in the last three days than I ever thought I would or is possible. I guess nothing says Martin Luther King Jr. Day like, um, taking over an uninhabited island. Remember guys, mean people stink.